10 March 2014

John Kerry's memory loss and other tidbits

John Kerry's memory loss

US Secretary of State John Kerry came up with what would qualify as the biggest foreign policy blooper to date.  Referring to developments in Ukraine, Kerry said, 'You just don’t in the 21st century behave in 19th century fashion by invading another country on completely trumped up pretext.'  So in what century did the USA invade Iraq on the pretext that Iraq had 'weapons of mass destruction'?  
Needed: an international hangman

It is reported that two candidates for the post of 'Hangman' have fallen out of favor.  Apparently the two had been 'disillusioned about the job'.  Perhaps Prison authorities have been looking in the wrong place.  Perhaps they should advertise in the international press.  The entire world knows that there's no one more trigger-happy than whoever occupies White House.  Then there's Geneva.  The UN system is full of people who want to hang this or that enemy of the West for 'crimes against humanity'.  How about Navi Pillay?  Or Ban ki-Moon?  Or someone from the UK.  Callum Macrae would like the job.  Frances Harrison too.  How could we have forgotten Fr Emmanuel the Tiger-Lover? 

Poor Trotsky

Comrade Bahu is not like Royce Fernando.  He might cook up some names and fill in a form here and there, but he won't rob money 'to conduct an election campaign'.  He is not like Udaya Gammanpila of the JHU either.  Whereas Gammanpila asked people to contribute Rs 100 each to his campaign, Bahu hasn't specified an amount in his 'sms' solicitation.  But he has said something very interesting: 'We are a poor Trotskyite party!'  Hmm...hmmm...did someone ask if the poverty is in the party or in the doctrine? 
The mathematically challenged JVP?

Nalin Hewage, contesting the Southern Provincial Council election on the JVP ticket has made a startling claim: 'The JVP is not a third political force, it is the only alternative force'.  Maybe he has forgotten the results of the recently concluded Wayamba Provincial Council Elections.  Let us remind him.  In the Kurunegala District the JVP came up 5th behind the UPFA, UNP, Democratic Party and SLMC, polling a paltry 2.08% of the vote.  In the Puttalam District, the JVP's 5th place showing accounted for 1.19% of the vote.  So he is correct, the JVP is not the 3rd political force.  It is the fifth.  Indeed one wonders whether the word 'force' is applicable here, alternative or otherwise.

Wanted: Oxygen

Ravi Karunanayake says that Mayor Muzammil (of the UNP) is giving Oxygen to the government.  That's really bad of His Worship, political commentators lament.  The Government has all the Oxygen it needs and if that's not enough has got O2 boosts from all sections of the Opposition as well.   The Mayor, if he has excess supplies of the life-giving Oxygen should channel it all to Sirikotha, political analysis observe. That party, after all, is literally gasping for breath, Karunanayake included.

Wanted: Chief Guests

General Manager, Sri Lanka Railways, B.A.P. Ariyaratne informs that the Kilinochchi-Pallai section of the Northern railway line has been completed.  The completion of each section warrants a 'launching ceremony'.  Each ceremony needs a Chief Guest.  President Mahinda Rajapaksa must be quite stretched with these CG duties in all parts of the country.  Wouldn't it be better, someone asked, if SLR invited those who really, really, really, really love Sri Lanka to do the honors?  Here's a partial list: Callum Macrae, Navi Pillay, David Cameron, Samuel Harper, Louise Arbor, Bernard Kouchner, Samantha Powers.  Alternatively, SLR could invite Paikiasothy Saravanamuttu, Nimalka Fernando, Jehan Perera.  It would be wonderful to watch such people clap and cheer.