The wages of absolution

 

‘History will absolve me,’ was the title of Fidel Castro’s speech in court when he defended charges brought against him after leading the attack on the Moncada Barracks in Cuba. This was way back in 1953. The text of the two hour speech later became the manifesto of the 26th of July Movement.

Not too long afterwards Albert Camus, in his essay on capital punishment, ‘Reflections on the Guillotine,’ observed that perpetrators of crimes of passion tend to absolve themselves of guilt from the get go. They’ve justified the act.

In general, absolution, especially self-absolution, obtains from a moral universe which of course can vary from person to person. The law, which Lenin famously said ‘is the will of the ruling class,’ might judge, establish guilt and convict, but the convicted always have this moral out. The perpetrator can be convinced of innocence and toss the absolution time bomb in the belief that it will shatter misconception, misrepresentation and false verdict.

This is not to say that penitence does not exist. There are people who are remorseful. People do repent. In the moment of passion, however, there appears to be absolute conviction of moral righteousness. Unless of course the protagonist is a sham artist intent on misleading the audience.  

Those aggrieved by dramatic outbursts as such are typical of the ill-intentioned take refuge in phrases like ‘the truth will out, eventually.’ Could happen but may not too.  

But let’s take the matter away from the spotlight, those public moments of self-righteous assertions. People in the everyday act rationally. They choose a particular course of action, whether or not it has social or legal sanction. Why? Because it’s ‘the best things to do,’ or even ‘it’s the only option left.’

And so, the audience, large or small or even if it is a single person, assesses. People can get carried away. People may pause and dig deeper. They could consider the substantiation offered or, if none has been laid out, dismiss it all as hot hair. They could also ask, ‘is this the truth, the WHOLE truth and NOTHING but the truth?’  

People do tend to offer ‘facts’ that support a particular argument. The eloquent (like Castro) can sway an audience with turn of phrase, argumentative flourish and even stage presence. Conviction help. It helps if you think you are absolutely right, at least in terms of say ‘the larger good’ where that which is disconcerting is labeled ‘trivial’ and duly dismissed or at best footnoted.

There’s danger in all this. Revolutionaries or rebels pride themselves for possessing critical faculties. Criticism is therefore a powerful weapon in rebellions. The more sober and, in the end, the more serious about transformative political action, are not only given to criticism but they place a high value on self-criticism. That makes for course-correction.

In the case of individuals, the anonymity edge that is available to the collective, is non-existent or vague. ‘I speak for all,’ is often claimed. ‘He speaks for all,’ that cheer too will be heard. When the moment passes and other news sweeps aside moment, personality and cheering squad, you are left standing alone.  

The pendulum swings. You are no longer the hero of the moment. It could be worse. The general consensus could be that you are in fact the villain of the piece. All you have for comfort and consolation is the notion of absolution. Enough? Perhaps.

‘I was wronged!’ Is a silent scream that echoes in the lonely caverns of the mind. Even if one were not. It’s all about self image. All about ego. A weight unnecessary and yet carried throughout one’s life; only, no one sees it. There’s no validation.

Time reduced all the momentarily glorious things to their true dimensions. Time corrodes — the frills fall off, the paint cracks and one is left with the skeletal residue of that moment erroneously assumed to be shining forever.


Humility is expensive. It is often a lightweight fighting against the heavyweight Ego. Sooner or later, that fight will take place.  Whoever wins, in the end, moral high ground so perceived will be secured. For better or worse, in worldly or spiritual terms.

There are wages, always. Sometimes we are willing to pay and sometimes we have to pay whether we like it or not.  

‘I’ve absolved myself,’ one can claim and feel good about it. ‘History will absolve me,’ one can say with absolute certainty. History does. For in the end, death will unburden us of such crippling weights. At least in with regard to this lifetime. 

 [This article was published in the Daily News under the weekly column title 'The Recurrent Thursday']