28 May 2015

So, no one likes you?

This is the thirtieth article in a series I am writing for the JEANS section of 'The Nation'.  The series is for children. Adults consider yourselves warned...you might re-discover a child within you! Scroll down for other articles in this series. 
It often happens in schools and when you are young.  You feel that the entire world is against you.  The teachers are finding fault with you at every turn.  No one wants to be your friend.  You are constantly being blamed for something or the other.  Nothing you do seem to be right.  
You wonder why it happens to you (and no one else).  You wonder what you should do to make things better.  You are convinced that you are honestly doing your best and wonder why people don’t recognize this.  It is sometimes unbearable.  You feel so terribly alone.  
Then there comes a point when you start blaming yourself.  You think, ‘if everyone thinks I am bad, then I must be’.   Maybe they are right.  Maybe they are wrong.  Right and wrong are not determined by the number of people who think something is ‘right’ or something is ‘wrong’.   
There’s only one question that matters in situations like this:  ‘Do I like myself?’   If you do, then half the problem is solved.  If you like yourself it means that you think you are a good person.  A good person should not worry about how many people think he or she is good.  A good person does good things, whether or not anyone notices or applauds.  
A good person who is thought to be ‘bad’ should not worry too much whether or not he or she is popular.  The only thing that you should think of when you are ‘being good’ is whether or not your words or your actions will hurt someone.  
If that’s too much of a hassle, then there’s something else you can do.  Do what you came to do.  If you are in school you are there because your parents wanted you to learn something.  Instead of spending time and energy worrying about how others see you, think about your school work.  Study.  Revise.   Ask questions if there’s something you don’t understand.  
There’s always at least one thing that we are all good at.  Sooner or later we all recognize what we are good at.  Forget popularity, ignore the jeers.  Do your thing.  Sooner or later someone will notice and appreciate.  And even if no one notices, you can be happy that you’ve done your best.  
That’s the trick.  Do your best.  Do what you think is right.  Don’t wait for everyone to jump up, clap and cheer madly.  Stop thinking about cheers and you won’t mind the jeers.  Be worried only if you feel you’ve done something wrong or feel you haven’t done your best.  If that’s the case, say you are sorry.  If that’s the case, tell yourself you’ll do better next time.
You have yourself.  Love yourself and try to be more beautiful than you are.  If you don’t you will be truly alone, even if you are the most popular boy or girl in the class.  

Other articles in this series