12 January 2014

Hora-Police and Other Fun Games


It's a kids game.  Like Cowboys and 'Indians'.  So little Nimal may play 'hora' or robber today and cop tomorrow with his friend Sunil would play cop today and 'hora' tomorrow.  At the end of the day they remain friends.  That was then. Now it's an adult game. We have top cops playing 'hora'. Sorry, 'Big Time Hora'.  And we have irate villagers tying up errant cops.  Should we officially dump that old adage 'physician heal thyself' and replace it with 'police officer arrest yourself!'?

Two types of politicians

With two provincial elections coming up, including the one for the Western PC, hopeful candidates including incumbents, have started making noises.  Some want reward for services rendered.  Some paint themselves as the obvious choice for Chief Minister, making statements to the effect calculated to draw 'No Way!' from party bigwigs so they get some marked in the minds of voters.  But by and large, two categories dominate.  First you have the celebrities, mainly film stars and sporting personalities.  Then you have the children of politicians.  So if you really want to make waves as a politician and your daddy or mummy is not one already, take up sports.  Or acting.  

Vigneswaran's history

Chief Minister Vigneswaran has come up with an amazing proposal.  He wants the country's history re-written by foreigners.  He is not happy with all the versions of the island's history currently available.  Not anyone's fault that some people didn't bother or didn't have what it takes to jot down details of things that happened or were happening of course, but since Viggy wants experts let's suggest some (purely going by who Tamil Chauvinists believe are capable of writing 'fact'.  How about Callum Macrae, Frances Harrison, Robert O Blake, Navi Pillay and the Darusman panelists? Or shall we give it to Channel 4?  How about Johnny Depp, Madonna and David Beckham?  Heck, we might as well give the job to Arnold Schwarzenegger!  

Stubborn VIP stickers 

The Police will crackdown on vehicles (convoys too?) which zip around the city and country courtesy VIP/VVIP stickers.  That's good.  If all citizens are equal in the eyes of the constitution, those in small vehicles, public transport and on foot need not scurry off road and pavement when one of those big vehicles carting arrogant people who think they are very important comes by.  But why limit it to the streets and vehicles?  How about those VIP tags that come in the form of directives and chits to officers to get this kudukaaraya released or that kuducontainer released?  Those VIP/VVIP stickers are far more difficult to take off because they are invisible, right?

'Ethnic Conflict' resolved by Department of Meteorology

It's official.  The depression over Northern Sri Lanka is on its way out, the Department of Meteorology has pronounced.  Now if only the Department could fiddle around and get all depression in all parts of the island to move away!  We would be a truly ebullient nation.  No strikes, no cooking of numbers to inflate growth rate, no suicides and no alcoholism.  Surely a Kethumathi Nuwara!


Anonymous said...

Brilliant !! :)

Gil Abey said...

You have certainly hit all the nails on their heads! Particularly nailing the offspring's of our politico's, actors & actresses! Its a part of ShackesPerera's poem (All The Worlds a Stage) which now reads "All of Sri Lanka is a stage and all its Politico's are merely actors and actresses!"
"Re writing history" is a brilliant allusion to what subversive elements are hell bent in making mythical allusions to realities!
As for cops and robbers and cops and others , its an old story that has become a part and parcel of life in this land of "Plenty" of criminal freedom ! Love the way you write Malinda!