The fish didn’t complain about the water

[Transcripts from a parallel universe]

Things were getting tough in the Indian Ocean, in particular in that tiny neck of sea between India and Sri Lanka.  There are currents and undercurrents in the sea and no creature is more sensitive to such things than those actually live in it.  So they had a meeting.  There were representatives from all species, all fish big or small.  They met in the deep.  They came up with a position paper.  Well, not a paper really but a thought-doc which explained how things stand and what should be done to sort out existing problems.  This is a rough transliteration from fish-tongue to English.  

‘We are in a ridiculous situation.  There are humans who argue over who we belong to.  No one has bothered to solicit our opinion on ownership.  Sure, we don’t have things like birth certificates and identity cards. We don’t need passports or visas.  Evolution didn’t deem all that necessary.  We were who we were, we are who we are.  There were never names and therefore no boundaries where one name ceased to have meaning and another name became relevant. 

These humans are crazy!

It seems that there’s some invisible line.  On one side is India and on the other Sri Lanka.  Whatever those two names mean.  Now we don’t understand lines so we don’t know of borders.  We don’t do border-cross, therefore.  We just move.  For these people, though, this non-existent line is a life and death matter.  They swear by this line and vow to do what-not to whoever that crosses.  And if they themselves cross they complain of ill-treatment. Some even talk of declaring war.  Over what?  The right to capture and kill us.  Sorry, not just capture and kill but the right to can, boil, stew, grill, fry or cook!

These humans are gross! 

We know about predator and victim, hunter and hunted.  We know about hunger and therefore we understand hunger-kill.  We never understood profit.  The ocean belongs to all of us and all of us belong to the ocean.  This did not make the sea any less private for any one of us.  We never understood private property and never understood profit.  The sea gives us all we need and we’ve heard that the earth gives humans all they need.  We are happy with what we have but we hear humans are never sated. 

These humans are greedy!

They say it’s about fishing.  That’s an insult.  A racially motivated insult.  When they kill one another, when they explode bombs, shoot bullets, release poison gas and so on, they don’t call the activity ‘humaning’. 

These humans are retarded!

We remember a better time.  There were boats swishing this way and that of course but no trawlers, no hooks and no nets.  They say there was a war.  Something about traditional homelands, boundaries and such.  Confusing, silly stuff, but you know, these humans, I ask you! Anyway, fishing (that *%$^# word again!) was banned.  No worries.  Then it was over.  Now that they’re no longer fighting over imaginary lines on land, it seems they’ve reverted to imaginary lines on water.

Yes, these humans are nuts! 

Perhaps they don’t belong to themselves and therefore want to own this, that and everything else that can be seen or invisible, moves or stays still, us included!  We need to do something about it.  We won’t move, so migration is out of the question.  There’s only one way to get around this.  War. 

Humans like war.  They are a war-like species.  In the interest of our freedom to be who we are, to speak and not be spoken for, we have decided that we will do our utmost to manufacture a war that all humans can be happy about.  They can kill, they can capture, they can argue, they can do whatever they want to do.  They will leave us alone.

These humans are stupid!