16 July 2015

"Lunatics Unlimited applauds President Sirisena!"

News updates regarding today's (16.07.2015) political developments in Kekirilanthaya -- 8.42 pm.

The following are official statements issued today (15.07.2015) by 'Lunatics Unlimited', the party that aspires to form the next Government of Kekirilanthaya.  Feel free to share.  Even if you don't want to share, be happy.  Kekirilanthaya will soon be free from the clutches of political know-alls of all political hues. Be patient!

'If I was Arjuna Mahendran I would resign!' said leader of Lunatics Unlimited, Malinda Seneviratne. He made this observation after President Maithripala Sirisena told the media that he (Sirisena) had told Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe to ask Arjuna Mahendran to resign over the Central Bank bond scam.

"If Ranil did not follow Maithripala's instructions to get Mahendran to resign, then Maithripala should have sacked Ranil or else resign in shame because he had to submit to the dictates of one who does not enjoy any mandate," said Malinda Seneviratne, leader of Lunatics Unlimited, the party that seeks to form the next Government of Kekirilanthaya. 

"Lunatics Unlimited applauds President Sirisena!"  Set to form the next Government in Kekirilanthaya, Lunatics Unlimited claims that President Maithripala Sirisena by the very fact of directing Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe to sack Central Bank Governor Arjuna Mahendran, has acknowledged that not only was there wrongdoing in the controversial Central Bank bond issue but that Mahendran is culpable.

Kiritopi Batta, the youngest member of Lunatics Unlimited, set to form the next govt. of Kekirilanthaya, advices those interested in politics to look to/at the Left. 'The old (JVP) looks at the SLFP-UNP and salivates while the new (FLSP) focuses on policies and principles,' he said.

'Maithri is ours' says the UNP (because he lambasted Mahinda).  'No he is ours!' says the Mahinda camp (because he virtually handed over the party to Mahinda and implied that both Arjuna Mahendran and Ranil Wickremesinghe were involved in financial fraud).  While these parties struggle to share and embrace Maithri, Lunatics Unlimited is getting ready to form the next government of Kekirilanthaya, the party's acting leader, Kiritopi Batta stated.

The haves take out ads, have-nots write on roads -- this is the inevitable product of the political economy of a stratified society. it is laughable that Nirmal Dewasiri objects to the JVP while mollycoddling the haves, said Kiritopi Batta, the acting leader of Lunatics Unlimited, the party that is getting ready to form the next govt. of Kekirilanthaya.