15 July 2015

News updates regarding today's (15.07.2015) political developments in Kekirilanthaya -- 7.29 pm

The following are official statements issued today (15.07.2015) by 'Lunatics Unlimited', the party that aspires to form the next Government of Kekirilanthaya.  Feel free to share.  Even if you don't want to share, be happy.  You will soon be free from the clutches of political know-alls of all political hues.

Leader of Lunatics Unlimited and the most suitable people's representative for Kekirilanthaya, Malinda Seneviratne impatiently waits for this week's Ravaya headline. Last week it was 'Maithri betrays mandate'. This week, Seneviratne believes, it has to be 'Maithri hoodwinks Ravaya'.

"The shameless use of state media for the UNP's propaganda demonstrates the truth of that party's (and the President's) democratic brag," says Malinda Senevirathne, leader of Lunatics Unlimited and the most suitable people's representative for Kekirilanthaya, laughing out loud.

The Leader of 'Lunatics Unlimited' and Kekirilantha parliamentary hopeful Malinda Seneviratne announces that he is confused after listening to Dallas Alahapperuma rant about the Cinnamon-Stick Gang of Mangala 'Tiger' Samaraweera. He wonders why Dallas was silent when similar gangs did similar or worse things during the tenure of Mahinda Rajapaksa and much worse things during the time of 'Madam Chandrika'.

Malinda Seneviratne, set to form the next Government of Kekirilanthaya, stated that the Central Committee of Lunatics Unlimited can convene whenever it likes and wherever it likes and that he will not lift a finger to stop those who wish to thus meet. This statement was released after the Leader of the Sri Lanka Freedom Party, Maithripala Sirisena obtained a restraining order from the District Court of Colombo against convening that party's Central Committee. He further observed (guffawing almost to the point of exhaustion) that good governance advocates had failed to note and object to the patently anti-democratic nature of this move by Sirisena.

'It appears that Maithripala Sirisena has confused the country's constitution with that of the UNP,' Leader of Lunatics Unlimited Malinda Seneviratne said, referring to Sirisena's stated belief that the premiership is HIS to confer.  Seneviratne further stated that his party, which aspires to make the next Government of Kekirilanthaya, is ready to offer free tuition to Sirisena about constitutional affairs.

Lunatics Unlimited does not pity Mahinda Rajapaksa or any UPFA member who feels wronged by the powerful in the reduced circumstances they find themselves in.  However, the party, which incidentally is set to form the next government of Kekirilanthaya confessed that it felt some sympathy (mixed with sorrow) at those who believed that the persons thus harassing the aforementioned were actually democrats, saints, believers in good governance etc.