No, I didn’t even dream this would happen. I had bet on Ranil. No, not because I think he could beat Percy
(yes, I am still hopeful that Mahinda would switch to his other name and come
collect his Kolombian membership card); the opposition candidacy was his to
give away. There was talk of Karu and
Sajith too. Karu and Sajith are not
exactly Kolombians, but they have acquired some Kolombian qualities that make
it easier to pick them over Percy. But
Ranil, undoubtedly, is one of us.
This is not about winning.
It is about there being something, someone, to make us feel hopeful for
a while, let me be honest. Ranil would
have lost, but he could have had us raising a cheer until the Elections
Commissioner announces that he’s lost. Again.
Well, goodbye to that!
So what do we have now?
A baiya or more correctly a yakko (Percy) being challenged by
another yakko. Now this Maithripala is not one of us. Percy will not be one of us. As of now it looks like Maithri is happy to
play pawn to the one of Kolombians who ruined everything for us, Chandrika and
Ranil. Some might think that it doesn’t
matter if people are crooks or traitors, thugs or pawns, but we Kolombians are
big on appearances. It’s hard to dress
up Chandrika and Ranil, let’s say.
The first signs are pretty dismal. Sad, actually. We had Chandrika being utterly condescending
to Maithripala at that first (disastrous) press conference. She stopped short of saying ‘he was one those
who would have to enter from the back door and sit in the kitchen, one of those
little boys who had to mop up the floor after one of us vomited.’ Only just, though.
And now we have Maithripala running off to the Horagolla
Walawwa at every turn. Will he turn up
at the next meeting clinging to Chandrika’s sari
pota? I am worried. I am very worried. This presidential candidate looks like he’s
about to disappear among the garments of the lady. He seems to be doing his best to look like a
speck of dust that has somehow latched itself on to her big toe.
It made me nostalgic for those days when it was a match
among Kolombians. There was Dudley and
Sirima. Sirima and JRJ. Even Kobbekaduwa appeared Kolombian. Premadasa wrecked the trend of course, but I
was thrilled when we got another home-n-home affair when Ranil took on
Chandrika in 1999. That was fifteen long
years ago. How much longer are we
supposed to wait?
Percy doesn’t look as though he’s going to shed the saatakaya. Maithripala doesn’t look like he’s about to
un-serf himself from the Grand Old Feudal Lady.
This election has already got so boring that I might even take the next
flight to Bangkok. Or just sleep through
it. No dream can be worse than this
nightmare. ‘Baiya vs Baiya’ or ‘Yakko vs
Yakko’. Never thought I would live to
see the day.
Excuse me. I need to
puke.
Other articles in this series:
*Everyone takes note. Some keep notes. Some in diaries and journals. Some in their minds and hears. Some of these are shared via email or on Facebook or blog; some are not. Among these people are Kolombians, people from Colombo who know much -- so much that they are wont to think that others don't know and can't think. This is the seventh in a series published in 'The Nation' under the title 'Notes of an Unrepentant Kolombian'.
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