23 July 2015

Did Mervin fall into Ranil's lap or did the UNP slide to Mervin's level?

The following are today's (23.07.15) media releases from Lunatics Unlimited, the party that is set to form the next government of Kekirilanthaya.

The question 'Did Mervin Silva (Dr) fall into Ranil's lap or did Ranil and the UNP slide down to Mervin's level?' has troubled the Peripheral Committee of Lunatics Unlimited so much that the Committee had wasted 17 whole minutes discussing it, Baby Powder Blue, today's leader of Lunatics Unlimited, the party that is set to form the next Government of Kekirilanthaya told Kekiri FM.

Finally the party had decided to write to Ranil Wickremesinghe requesting that such slips and slides and falls be postposed until after August 17.

Baby Powder Blue has advised UNP candidate Sujeewas Senasinghe that he should change his campaign line to 'I am the Lord of the Cut-Out'.  He has also written to candidates from the same party who are whispering 'He was the loudest objector to Mahinda's cut-outs but he has left Mahinda far behind!' that they should give him a break.  An email sent to all UNP candidates states, 'Take it easy, these are good governance cut-outs noh!'

Baby Powder Blue stated that Lunatics Unlimited is thrilled to be educated about Ajith Perera, Champika Ranawaka and the difference between real nationalists and fake ones.  

In a statement made to the media Baby Powder Blue refers to an endorsement of Ranawaka by Perera.  

'Ajith is amazing.  He says that Champika is one of just a handful of educated and wise politicians in the country.  Unlike Mahinda and Wimal, whom Ajith thinks were peddling nationalism for political ends, Champika is a true nationalist, he says.  He says that for a long time Champika was hobnobbing with fake nationalists and was totally lost.  Now he is with real nationalists, apparently. 

'So this means that until recently Champika was taken for a ride by these fake dudes.  So he was lost until recently.  We don't know if Champika agrees with Ajith but we would love to find out what he has to say.  Anyway, we are thrilled to know the difference between fake and real nationalists.  Now we know that the REAL DEAL is about being terrified of Prabhakaran and being ready to gift half the coast and one third the land mass to terrorists; we know that the REAL DEAL is being ready to follow the dictates of India and the USA; we know that the REAL DEAL is to sell off national assets to foreign interest.  We are now enormously empowered by this new knowledge.  Thank you Ajith, thank you so much!'

Baby Powder Blue told Kekiri FM that the party is amused by what Mahinda Rajapaksa had to say about comments about internment'.

'Mahinda had said in Anuradhapura that some people were talking about sweeping him out, of destroying him and of burying him.  He asked, almost begging for sympathy, "has any of these people ever talked about sweeping out, destroying or burying Prabhakaran?" 

'I don't know, but it is hard to sympathize with someone who showed little pity for his political opponents.  Still, the man has a point.  It IS hilarious when people who are servile in the manner of shoving tail between legs before people like Prabhakaran, David Cameron, Navi Pillai etc., pose off as chest-beating heroes!'