15 January 2015

Kolombia and Kolombians all the way!

Done.  Finally.  I hate elections.  Elections are about a lot of people getting excited.  They are about inflated self-importance.  It’s the one moment when the riff raff actually think this country belongs to them.  They strut around as though are the king-makers (and occasionally queen-makers of course) when it fact it’s not the kings and queens that get elected but those who temporarily manage systems that by, with and for Kolombians.

I just can’t deal with this misplaced excitement.  The worst part of it is that most of the noise is made right here in Kolombia.  This is our land, our turf, our happy-hunting-ground.  Why must these yakkos come here to defecate, I ask you!  No, I am not talking about Gota’s excellent work and the pains taken to keep Kolombia looking nice for us Kolombians, never mind the fact that non-Kolombians also use the walkways. I am talking about the use of Kolombo for political activity.

What are these rallies, demonstrations, shows of support and musical shows all about?  I don’t know.  All I know is that they are not about me, not about Kolombo and not about Kolombians.  Elections are about voting.  So why on earth can’t people just do that without making a song and dance about it?  We are not saying they shouldn’t, are we?  All they needed to do was to quietly stand in line, cast their votes and go home. 

I was particularly upset by what’s happening on Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites.  Every second person who can string three or four words into a sentence suddenly turned into political commentators.  As someone pointed out to me the other day ‘pseudo intellectuals have hopped on the soap box that is FB to spew their rhetoric’.   He added, ‘shut the eff up and get on with trying to make a positive difference somewhere,’ but I think that’s going a bit too far. 

What was upsetting about all this is that these pundits and those they back to ‘lead’ (sic) this country are going on and on and on without a word about us.  There’s no mention of Kolombia.  There’s no reference to Kolombians. 

Now it’s done.  They’ve had their day in the sun.  They’ve crawled in and out of ballot boxes.  They have smiled and laughed and felt good about themselves.  That’s fine.  I won’t deny them such small mercies.  Now they can shut up.  Done.  Dusted.  

Let me remind everyone.  You may have elected the President of Sri Lanka, but the President of Sri Lanka is a servant of the Kingdom of Kolombia.  You’ve just elected the guy who gets to look after our interests for a few years.  And now that you’ve done it, just go home along with your illusions, will you?   And while you are at it, change your FB profile pics and cover photos, ok?  I am sick of seeing mug shots of the candidates.  Sick of campaign slogans.  Replace them will pictures that correspond to your sorry lives instead.  That would be the honest thing to do. 

Just remember, now and always, this is our game, our land, our way, baby.  ‘Kolombia and Kolombians all the way and forever!’  That’s the true outcome of this election. 

Everyone takes note.  Some keep notes.  Some in diaries and journals.  Some in their minds and hears.  Some of these are shared via email or on Facebook or blog; some are not.  Among these people are Kolombians, people from Colombo who know much -- so much that they are wont to think that others don't know and can't think. This is the twelfth in a series published in 'The Nation' under the title 'Notes of an Unrepentant Kolombian'.

Other articles in this series:
Shortcuts to becoming a Kolombian
A Kolombian's worst nightmare
The Bourse is ours!
You name it, Kolombians own it
We shall not be re-named
Get off my walkway!
Thank you Mahinda for the Avacado Prawns!
English is a feel-good thing na?
Dear Percy, your membership card is ready
Forget Mahinda and Maithree, Alistair Cook is the Kolombian choice!
One day we will acquire 'class conciseness'!
Mahinda, Maithripala and their Money-Pestos