Kolombian loyalists take over and how!

Kolombians are a distinct people from Colombo who know much -- so much that they are wont to think that others don't know and can't think. They have things to say.  A lot of things to say.  The entire country can learn from them. This is the fourteenth in a series published in 'The Nation' under the title 'Notes of an Unrepentant Kolombian'.  Scroll down for other articles in this series. 

Just over ten days in power and the whole of Sri Lanka can see what happens when Kolombians take charge.  I speak for all my fellow Kolombians I am sure when I say ‘we are thrilled to bits!’ 

The appointments floored me.  In a good way.  I was rolling on the floor and laughing, literally.  Check this out: Ranil is the Minister of Planning and Economic Development.  Harsha is his Deputy.  Ravi is the Minister of Finance.  Eran is the Deputy Minister of Road and Investment Development. 

They are all Royalists but that’s just coincidence; Kolombia is not just for Royalists, ok?  There are Royalists and Royalists and some of them are yakkos who came in through the Scholarship Exam or whose parents lived in slum areas located within 2kms from the school.  Yes, I am whispering a prayer of thanksgiving to Gota for clearing some of these eyesores, breeding ground for yakkos who get a cheap Kolombian coating courtesy that distance rule for school admission.

To get back to the point, a yakko from Polonnaruwa may have won the Presidential Election, but it’s our guys calling the shots.  They now man the commanding heights of the economy.  And get this, the designated Governor of the Central Bank is Arjuna Mahendran, yet another Royalist, and a resident of Colombo 7 to boot – he lives off Flower Road (who the hell named it Ernest De Silva Mawatha by the way and by the byway who even calls it that?).  That’s as blue-blooded a Kolombian as you can get.

These are not Royalists.  They are loyalists.  They give credence to the dictum ‘Government by the Kolombians, with the Kolombians and for the Kolombians’.  Let’s raise a cheer to that folks!

There are of course the skeptics.  There’s this story doing the rounds that Arjuna’s son-in-law was thick as thieves with Namal Rajapaksa and that he made his bucks in the share market through all kinds of shady deals.  Then there’s a story that Arjuna made a mess of the BOI when he was its Chairman in those lovely Ceasefire days and that the entire Mahendran family don’t respect the national flag or national anthem.  So what?  Those are frills we can do without.  What’s important is Kolombia and Kolombian interests, not Sri  Lanka (whatever the hell Sri Lanka is). 

There are stories about Ravi too.   He has scheduled the presentation of the interim budget for the 29^th of January, the very day that a case where he is accused of aiding and abetting a Rs 390 million illegal foreign exchange fraud involving infamous hedge fund manager Raj Rajaratnam (under arrest in the USA at present) is to be heard.  Ravi has known of this ‘court date’ since the 13^th of November 2014.  I say ‘Atta boy Ravi, you are making all of Kolombia proud with this master move!’  And guess what, the Bar Association has said there’s no legal impediment in Ravi’s appointment despite allegations of money laundering.  The President of the Association is one of our guys, see?  We got all bases covered!

I almost forgot.  SATHOSA.  Ravi is said to have ruined SATHOSA.  Well, here’s news for you: that’s what he was mandated to do.  I am sure that our Kolombians will not let SATHOSA rise again.  Already they’ve banned liquor sales.  They can turn SATHOSA into a liability with the snap of their fingers and that’s what they should do.  We can’t have SATHOSA giving a run to Kolombian grocery stores, can we now?    If yakkos can shop the way we do, where would it leave us, I ask you!

So here’s the deal: those who wanted යහ පාලනය (yaha paalanaya or good governance) are free to indulge their fantasies, but we are talking business here.  Kolombian business.  And the fact of the matter is we mean business and we are in business, so there!

Other articles in this series:

Have a free lunch on Election Day

Shortcuts to becoming a Kolombian 
A Kolombian's worst nightmare
The Bourse is ours!
You name it, Kolombians own it
We shall not be re-named
Get off my walkway! 
Thank you Mahinda for the Avacado Prawns!
English is a feel-good thing na?
Dear Percy, your membership card is ready
Forget Mahinda and Maithree, Alistair Cook is the Kolombian choice!
One day we will acquire 'class conciseness'!
Mahinda, Maithripala and their Money-Pestos 

Kolombia and Kolombians all the way!

Maithripala's victory: the yakkos did it (for us)!