Lord Ranil and Serf Maithripla

The serf sweats, the lord reaps

Kolombians are a distinct people from Colombo who know much -- so much that they are wont to think that others don't know and can't think. They have things to say.  A lot of things to say.  The entire country can learn from them. This is the nineteenth in a series published in 'The Nation' under the title 'Notes of an Unrepentant Kolombian'.  Scroll down for other articles in this series. 

I always knew that this boy Ranil was special.  I was listening to a speech he had made recently.  He said ‘6.3 million people voted to make me the Prime Minister’.  That’s just neat.  Only a true blue Kolombian could come up with such sleight of hand. 

The entire nation knows that what was held on January 8, 2015 was not a General Election.  The country elected a President, not a Prime Minister.  Ranil was appointed Prime Minister.   He was no elected.  That’s the beauty of Ranil the Twister. What’s even more amazing is that the yakkos actually go along with the lie!

Yes, only a Kolombian could have pulled it off.  Just think.  There’s this guy Maithripala Sirisena, a nonentity if ever there was one.  One year ago who would have thought he would be president of this country, huh?  Well, today he is the Executive President who is acting like a figurehead.  It is strange that people haven’t started calling him William Sirisena or Maithripala Gopallawa.  Then we have Ranil, perennial Leader of the Opposition, Mr Can’t-Win-And-Election, saying he is calling all the shots and making people believe they voted for him and not for Maithripala. 

Just think.  Maithripala defected from the SLFP.  He defeated the candidate of the SLF-led coalition.  He became the Leader of the SLFP.  He made a UNPer the Prime Minister.  He made an SLFPer the Leader of the Opposition.  He has confused the SLFP to the point that he has virtually paved the way for an easy UNP victory in a General Election.  If someone says that Maithripala was a UNP mole all along it would be hard not to agree.  I would disagree, however.  Vehemently.

The problem about understanding who Maithripala Sirisena really is, has to do with an inability to understand this country and what it is all about.  This country has a name.  Sri Lanka.  It is a Kolombia-led country, just like the UPFA is SLFP-led and President Sirisena is Ranil-led.  This is not a capitalist country.  This is a feudal country.  We don’t have capitalists, we have lords.  We don’t have workers, we have serfs.  True, it might appear that we have a capital-driven economy, but the problem is that the politics hasn’t really kept pace with the transformations in the modes of production.  The relations of production have remained for the most part feudal and this is why we have a lord-serf relationship at the top of the political structure. 

In short, Ranil is Lord (Chandrika might think she’s ‘Lady’ in this political configuration, but she’s not).  Ranil is Lord, let me repeat.  What does that make Maithripala?  Serf!  This is the beauty of Kolombian ways.  We let people believe anything they like. We even make them executive presidents, but we study them beforehand and make sure that they serve our interests believing these to be their own interests.  

If you doubt this, just ask yourself who Mahinda Rajapaksa was: mouthpiece of capitalism or lord?  His problem was that he didn’t want to be serf.  That irritated us quite a bit.  It was in desperation that we wanted to make him an honorary Kolombian, only he would have to change his name from Mahinda to Percy (his middle name).  With Maithripala it’s easy.  We don’t have to make him an honorary Kolombian Lord for he’s quite happy being a serf. 

 Other articles in this series:

Have a free lunch on Election Day

Shortcuts to becoming a Kolombian 
A Kolombian's worst nightmare
The Bourse is ours!
You name it, Kolombians own it
We shall not be re-named
Get off my walkway! 
Thank you Mahinda for the Avacado Prawns!
English is a feel-good thing na?
Dear Percy, your membership card is ready
Forget Mahinda and Maithree, Alistair Cook is the Kolombian choice!
One day we will acquire 'class conciseness'!
Mahinda, Maithripala and their Money-Pestos 

Kolombia and Kolombians all the way!

Maithripala's victory: the yakkos did it (for us)! 

Kolombian loyalists take over and how!

This 'ihapaalana' stuff is driving me nuts! 

Spare us the sliced-bread nightmares Ravi!
If rice is too expensive, eat cake yako!

They've kept the baby AND the bathwater