12 March 2015

Spare us the bad news, okay?

Whose side is MTV on, the Kolombians or the Yakkos?
Kolombians are a distinct people from Colombo who know much -- so much that they are wont to think that others don't know and can't think. They have things to say.  A lot of things to say.  The entire country can learn from them. This is the twentieth in a series published in 'The Nation' under the title 'Notes of an Unrepentant Kolombian'.  Scroll down for other articles in this series. 

Criticism is an integral part of democracy and a (said to be) free society, I agree.    Kolombia is not a democracy though and I’ll be damned if we ever become one.  We are not a free society because in this society there are Kolombians and there are those other guys, the riff-raff, the yakkos, the baiyas or the watchamacallits.  It is about us, not them.  Period.

We don’t like bad news – bad news about us or the guys that take care of things on our behalf, that is.  This is why I think these fontline guys and the JVP should be banned.  They are an envious bunch.  They are not Kolombians and they can never aspire to being Kolombians either.  So they hate us.  So they vilify us. 

Just the other day, I saw a JVP poster and it was like a bullet that hit me between the eyes.  I almost ran into the car ahead of me.  I just lost control.  The poster wanted people to protest ‘the government that protects crooks’.     Maybe they thought that Ranil and Co were serious about a) catching crooks and b) putting in place mechanisms to prevent theft, but naivet√© is their problem, not ours.  There are no rewards for believing crap.  If you are a sucker, then you open yourself to being suckered.  You can cry your eyes out, but you won’t find me feeling sorry for you.  Sorry. 

Look, this country has always been about Kolombians having their way.  We are an any-which-way-we-can and a by-all-means-necessary community.  We didn’t like the Rajapaksas because they cut in on our action.  We don’t mind our guys doing stuff because we believe it is the Kolombian Birthright, nothing less.  Now that it’s Ranil and the Boys, it’s our game, baby. 

If say the Central Bank Governor, an Old Royalist by the way, or the Minister of Finance (another Old Royalist) are interested in giving a helping hand to a fellow Kolombian, that’s ok by us.  If you have a problem with that, hard luck baby.  If they want to help sons-in-law or brothers or sisters of themselves, that’s ok by us, alright? 

Now the JVP and these Fontline people seem to think that True Blue (and Gold) Kolombians keeping the same crooks who thrived under the Rajapaksas and letting them benefit from the same old tricks is wrong.    Well, we beg to disagree.  It is not about wrongs.  It is about the identity of the beneficiaries.  It’s high time these loud-mouthed riff-raff learnt the truth about Sri Lankan politics.  It’s the same with Rakna Lanka and Avant Garde Maritime Services. They are above board, ok?  They are above board because we say they are.  We have are reasons and they are none of your business! 

The Fontline people are upset about Maithripala favoring the drug-traffickers (‘pharmaceutical industry’ is what they call their gang).  There’s absolutely nothing wrong here.   Drug-trafficking is legit, as far as Kolombians are concerned or rather as long as it concerns Kolombians.  The Fontline people are now talking about some Senaka Bibile.  Senaka, who, I beg your pardon? 

So yes, we’ll make a big song and dance about the tiny fish out there, but we will make sure that our guys, i.e. the big fish get to swim free.  Sashi is not a Kolombian, in case you were wondering.  Ranil is our man.  Ravi is our man.  Arjuna Mahendran is ours too.  Wijedasa is from Hambantota, true, but he’s a Wannabe Kolombian.  Wannabe Kolombians are the best kind of serfs.  They’ll do anything to get Kolombian citizenship.  We let them believe that they might actually get it one day because that way they will not do anything to mess things up for us. 

So if the JVP and these Fontline people are upset about election promises and the creation of false hopes, they should do a reality check.  They should read up on the history of this country.  This country’s history, especially over the last 60 years or so is about Kolombia and Kolombians.  We’ve had a few setbacks, we admit, but we are back in the saddle again.  We are up and running. We are laughing.

Don’t talk to us about corruption. Don’t talk to us about wrongdoing. Don’t talk to us about nepotism.  Don’t talk to us about transparency and accountability.  We have outlawed all those monsters.  They don’t have a place in Kolombia and never had either.  They are not tolerated in Ranil’s cabinet. 

This is our time, baby.  Get used to it. 

 Other articles in this series: