Saji Coomaraswamy and rewards that matter ~ Malinda Words

There are always rewarding moments in life. Rewards of the tangible kind and feel-good rewards that don’t arrive with a label. High points, one way or another. They tend to be the most resistant to the invariable forgetting that life and time layer on us.

A question was put to me recently on this matter. I was asked about my most rewarding experience. Instantly, I remembered. Sometimes the question has to be asked and that’s when we know, for few people dwell on the years that have passed thinking of and then reminiscing about high points.

I remembered a friend. I remembered writing about my friend years ago. I dug up the piece and it made me smile as I am sure it would have made her smile back when it all happened.

It happened almost 10 years ago and this is how I recounted it.

‘I was leaving my office, carrying a bouquet of flowers. A young girl asked me, “for whom are those flowers?” I said, “for my girlfriend – it’s her birthday!” I got a look. There was incredulity, amusement and, I like to believe, a bit of jealousy too.’

I smiled and added, ‘She’s over 80 years old.’

I came to know Saji Coomaraswamy, as I wrote back then, ‘in the strange intersections of orbits set in motion by the hand of God, as she might say, or by reasons that really do not require investigation because what matters is intersection alone, as I would say.’

She had responded to something I had written. I replied. And that correspondence continued until she passed away a few years later. We met and became firm friends. Mr Coomaraswamy, Madam and later Aunty Saji; the evolution of address tells the story.

She pointed out errors, she offered arguments that countered positions I took. She was always courteous, always civilised. As time went on we spoke about our lives, our families, the things we cherished and things we were confused about [Read For Menaka Thirunavakarasu, wherever she may be where I mentioned that Aunty Saji was like a mother to me]. She invited my family to her place, got to know my children, remembered their names and inquired after them. She told me about her life; her childhood, the time she was a student at Trinity College, Kandy (yes, she was!), her husband, children, grandchildren, in-laws, time spent in Zimbabwe and then, later, back in Sri Lanka. We discussed politics and religion [an article titled 'A note on doggerel and nonsense inspired by Charles Wesley' was prompted by a note she sent me], literature and the arts, whatever happened to caress imagination at the moment. She taught me much, especially the importance of humility, tenderness and integrity [A note she sent me on the beatitudes prompted an article 'A time to go down on my knees and show veneration'].

The most interesting discussions were about philosophy. She was a Christian, I was not. We didn’t step on each other’s toes, but we still danced.

I remember posting a poem on my blog. It was about love and about a singular kind of intimacy. Those who commented assumed it was about some woman and a romantic relationship. After a few days I added a comment: ‘this is about my daughter, she’s just 10 years old.’

Aunty Saji said I was being very mischievous. I was. We laughed. We laughed quite a lot, come to think of it. She had a great sense of humour.

Her daughter Amala called me one day and told me that Aunty Saji wasn’t doing too well. I visited her. Amala said that her mother was unable to speak. She seemed happy to see me.

I told her 'I've never come across anyone so at peace with who they are, where they have been and where they believe they are going.' She smiled again. I said ‘I love you so much,’ kissed her and left. I like to believe she is where she believed she was going to be or, if not, in a place I believe is warranted by the way she lived and loved. [Read Saji Coomaraswamy was a small but powerful generator of love]

Yes, I loved Aunty Saji dearly and I will always cherish her beautiful ways and especially the way she smiled and said everything she was unable to say the last time I saw her.

And yes, if a bouquet is deserved for anything I’ve ever done in the business of writing, well, I’ve already received it. I cannot think of a reward that is richer than having had the opportunity to meet, know, love and be loved by Saji Coomaraswamy.

malindadocs@gmail.com.

['The Morning Inspection' is the title of a column I wrote for the Daily News from 2009 to 2011, one article a day, Monday through Saturday. This is a new series. Links to previous articles in this new series are given below]

08 July 2023

Saji Coomaraswamy and rewards that matter

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