22 August 2023

Love is...

['The Morning Inspection' is the title of a column I wrote for the Daily News from 2009 to 2011, one article a day, Monday through Saturday. This is the 202nd article in the new series that began in December 2022. Links to previous articles are given below] 

'Love is…’ is a syndicated cartoon written and drawn by Bill Asprey since 1970. It began much earlier when Kim Grove drew these enchanting doodles to express her love for her husband-to-be, Robert Casali.  The couple eventually picked Asprey to take over the task of writing and drawing the daily panels for her.

Love is…obviously, many things. The fact that Kim and later Bill have produced literally thousands of, say, ‘definitions,’ testifies to the indefinability of love. Robert passed away in 1976 and Kim in 1997. Love came long before either of them were born and have and will survive their passing. That’s how it is. And yet, ‘Love is…’ has been a daily reminder of the little things that make people smile simply because they make you think, ‘ah, yes…this is so.’  

Simple things. The first to be published by the Los Angeles Times is one of those innumerable everyday things associated with love but which don’t make it to the pedantic elaborations on the subject: ‘Love is…not picking the most expensive dish on the menu.’

Poets and philosophers have spoken on love and the sum total of the outcome of their deliberations, to my mind, have been best captured by my late friend Sujeewa Wickramasekera: ‘Love is…impossible to defined; we can only feel it by the unutterable bliss and the unbearable sorrow it gives.’

This doesn’t mean that ‘definitions’ cannot be ventured and duly appreciated. Krishan Jayachandra, a school friend I hadn’t seen in almost 40 years, told me about an early-life story, a love-definition he had come up with.

‘She (the teacher) heard me talking to the guy next to me and demanded that I tell her what I had said.’

Maybe the teacher, who passed away in 2009 and therefore cannot be asked, heard what was said. Krishan lied, ‘I didn’t say anything, madam.’ She insisted. He insisted too. Finally he relented, ‘It’s something I can’t say, madam.’ She insisted. He relented.

‘Love is a train going over your …..’

‘Wrong,’ she said. ‘Say “love is a train going over your testicles.”’

Krishan is now a grandfather. The train had arrived quite early in his life, I observed. He laughed. He’s now in Los Angeles, ‘livin’ da vida loca,’ or ‘living the crazy life’ he says. Crazy. That’s a word for undefinable, I feel. Like love.

Love is...a poet's reverie. Lahiru Karunaratne's, for example.

An ocean, a reservoir and a handful of seashells  

A handful of seashells
picked from a long ago
I keep safe

There was a beach
frequently visited
in those days
I would a seashell bring home

One day the ocean ran dry
the waves that receded
never again returned
carrying seashells

Life now is a reservoir
where waves never rise

At sunset
I toss stones into the water
thinking that perhaps
an old wave may arrive
at some moment

Thereafter I silence all sounds
and to an ancient ocean’s ho-ho cry
give ear.

Lahiru Karunaratne is not exactly talking about love in the above poem which reads much better in its original Sinhala. It is nevertheless about absence and presence and of course their interchangeability and ‘synonymity’ with regard to the sensations associated with love. The overpowering feeling does not always crash through like a train.

Faiz Ahmed Faiz has written about this in a different way:

Today she forgot herself her usual ways
Her face broke as if by chance into a smile
Don’t ask what happened to the defeated heart
Oh Faiz how it broke once again into hopeless longing.

What if a wave arose unexpectedly? What if it delivered to Lahiru’s heart-sands a shell? Love is...patient. Love is…forgiving. Love is…two figures floating out of a syndicated cartoon. Love is…a friend who remembered an observation, a teacher who heard, ignored boyish crudeness, offered a correction and forever imprinted tenderness in a heart that never lost its boyishness. 

 Love is…waiting for seashells that contain an ocean and as such can never be ‘nutshelled.’ Krishan would love that, I'm sure, as would his teacher, Indrani Seneviratne, my late mother.


Other articles in this series: 

A stroll with Pragg and Arjun along a boulevard in Baku

Meditation on tree-art

Daya Sahabandu ran out of partners but must have smiled to the end

Gentle intrusions 

Sleeping well

The unleashing of inspiration

Write, for Pete's sake

Autumn Leaves Safeness

 Sapan and voices that erase borders

Problem elephants and problem humans

Songs from the vaekanda

The 'inhuman' elephant in a human zoo

Ivan Art: Ivanthi Fernando's efforts to align meaning

Arwa Turra, heart-stitcher

Let's help Jagana Krishnakumar rebuild our ancestral home

True national anthems

Do you have a friend in Pennsylvania (or anywhere?)

A gateway to illumination in West Virginia

Through strange fissures into magical orchards

There's sea glass love few will see 

Re-residencing Lakdasa Wikkramasinha

Poisoning poets and shredding books of verse

The responsible will not be broken

Home worlds

Ownership and tenuriality of the Wissahickon

Did you notice the 'tiny, tiny wayside flowers'?

Gifts, gifting and their rubbishing

History is new(s)

Journalism inadvertently learned

Reflections on the young poetic heart

Wordaholic, trynasty and other portmanteaus

The 'Loku Aiya' of all 'Paththara Mallis'

Subverting the indecency of the mind

Character theft and the perennial question 'who am I?'


A degree in people

Faces dripping with time

Saji Coomaraswamy and rewards that matter

Revolutionary unburdening

Seeing, unseeing and seeing again

Alex Carey and the (small) matter of legacy

The Edelweiss of Mirissa 

The insomnial dreams of Kapila Kumara Kalinga 

The clothes we wear and the clothes that wear us (down) 

Every mountain, every rock, is sacred 

Manufacturing passivity and obedience 

Precept and practice 

Sanjeew Lonliyes: rawness unplugged, unlimited 

In praise of courage, determination and insanity 

The relative values of life and death 

Feet that walk 

Sarinda's eyes 

Poetry and poets will not be buried 

Sunny Dayananda 

Reunion Peradeniya (1980-1990) 

What makes Oxygen breathable?  

Sorrowing and delighting the world 

The greatest fallacy  

Encounters with Liyanage Amarakeerthi 

Beyond praise and blame 

Letters that cut and heal the heart 

Vanished and vanishing trails 


A forgotten dawn song from Embilipitiya 

The soft rain of neighbourliness  

The Gold Medals of being 

Jaya Sri Ratna Sri 

All those we've loved before 

Reflections on waves and markings 

A chorus of National Anthems 

Saying what and how 

'Say when' 

Respond to insults in line with the Akkosa Sutra 

The loves of our lives 

The right time, the right person 

The silent equivalent of a thousand words 

Crazy cousins are besties for life 

Unities, free and endearing 

Free verse and the return key

"Sorry, Earth!" 

The lost lyrics of Premakeerthi de Alwis 

The revolution is the song 

Consolation prizes in competitions no one ever wins 

The day I won a Pulitzer 


Ella Deloria's silences 

Blackness, whiteness and black-whiteness 

Inscriptions: stubborn and erasable  


Deveni: a priceless one-word koan 

Enlightening geometries 

Let's meet at 'The Commons' 

It all begins with a dot 

Recovering run-on lines and lost punctuation 

'Wetness' is not the preserve of the Dry Zone 

On sweeping close to one's feet 

Kumkum Fernando installs Sri Lanka in Coachella, California

To be an island like the Roberts... 

Debts that can never be repaid in full

An island which no flood can overwhelm 

Who really wrote 'Mother'? 

A melody faint and yet not beyond hearing 

Heart dances that cannot be choreographed 

Remembering to forget and forgetting to remember 

On loving, always 

Authors are assassinated, readers are immortal 

When you turn 80... 

It is good to be conscious of nudities  

Saturday slides in after Monday and Sunday somersaults into Friday  

There's a one in a million and a one in ten 

Gunadasa Kapuge is calling 

Kumkum Fernando installs Sri Lanka in Coachella, California 

Hemantha Gunawardena's signature 

Pathways missed 

Architectures of the demolished 

The exotic lunacy of parting gifts 

Who the heck do you think I am? 

Those fascinating 'Chitra Katha' 

The Mangala Sabhava 

So how are things in Sri Lanka? 

The most beautiful father 

Palmam qui meruit ferat 

The sweetest three-letter poem 

Buddhangala Kamatahan 

An Irish and Sri Lankan Hello 

Teams, team-thinking, team-spirit and leadership 

The songs we could sing in lifeboats when we are shipwrecked 

Pure-Rathna, a class act 

Jekhan Aruliah set a ball rolling in Jaffna 

Awaiting arrivals unlike any other 

Teachers and students sometimes reverse roles 

Matters of honor and dignity 

Yet another Mother's Day 

A cockroach named 'Don't' 

Colombo, Colombo, Colombo and so forth 

The slowest road to Kumarigama, Ampara 

Sweeping the clutter away 

Some play music, others listen 

Completing unfinished texts 

Mind and hearts, loquacious and taciturn 

I am at Jaga Food, where are you? 

On separating the missing from the disappeared 

Moments without tenses 

And intangible republics will save the day (as they always have) 

The world is made of waves 


The circuitous logic of Tony Muller 

Rohana Kalyanaratne, an unforgettable 'Loku Aiya' 

Mowgli, the Greatest Archaeologist 

Figures and disfigurement, rocks and roses 

Sujith Rathnayake and incarcerations imposed and embraced 

Some stories are written on the covers themselves 

A poetic enclave in the Republic of Literature 

Landcapes of gone-time and going-time  

The best insurance against the loud and repeated lie 

So what if the best flutes will not go to the best flautists? 

There's dust and words awaiting us at crossroads and crosswords 

The books of disquiet 

A song of terraced paddy fields 

Of ants, bridges and possibilities 

From A through Aardvark to Zyzzyva  

World's End 

Words, their potency, appropriation and abuse 

Street corner stories 

Who did not listen, who's not listening still? 

The book of layering 

If you remember Kobe, visit GOAT Mountain 

The world is made for re-colouring 

The gift and yoke of bastardy 

The 'English Smile' 

No 27, Dickman's Road, Colombo 5 

Visual cartographers and cartography 

Ithaca from a long ago and right now 

Lessons written in invisible ink 

The amazing quality of 'equal-kindness' 

A tea-maker story seldom told 

On academic activism 

The interchangeability of light and darkness 

Back to TRADITIONAL rice 

Sisterhood: moments, just moments 

Chess is my life and perhaps your too

Reflections on ownership and belonging 

The integrity of Nadeesha Rajapaksha 

Signatures in the seasons of love

To Maceo Martinet as he flies over rainbows 

Sirith, like pirith, persist 

Fragrances that will not be bottled  

Colours and textures of living heritage 

Countries of the past, present and future 

A degree in creative excuses

Books launched and not-yet-launched 

The sunrise as viewed from sacred mountains 

The ways of the lotus 

Isaiah 58: 12-16 and the true meaning of grace 

The age of Frederick Algernon Trotteville 

Live and tell the tale as you will 

Between struggle and cooperation 

Of love and other intangibles 

Neruda, Sekara and literary dimensions 

The universe of smallness 

Paul Christopher's heart of many chambers 

Calmness gracefully cascades in the Dumbara Hills 

Serendipitous amber rules the world 

Continents of the heart
The allegory of the slow road